Thank You for Letting Me Go
by alonapcy
Summary: It has been 5 years since you and Chanyeol broke up, but not a single day goes by without you thinking if you made the right decision.


Summary: It has been 5 years since you and Chanyeol broke up, but the memory seems like it was just yesterday.

Rating: None

Relationship: Chanyeol x Reader

* * *

As your mother entered your place, she gasped to see everything in disarray. Books and papers were scattered on the floor, boxes opened and turned inside out.

She quietly put a container down your kitchen table, afraid of making noise if ever there's a stranger. "Y/N?" she asked, nervously walking towards your room. Softly opening the door, she saw your clothes strewn across the bed, some even fell to the floor.

"Ma, I thought I lost it" your voice was trembling as you keep a straight face. She picked up your clothes and transferred them to a vacant chair. She went near you, caressing you back as she leaned her face to your shoulder.

With your mother's touch, you knew you won't be able to control it any longer. A tear fell from your eye as you pull a necklace to your heart.

You can clearly remember what happened like it was just yesterday. You were whirling your wine in one hand, the other hugging your knees in front of your chest. You glanced at the clock, waiting for Chanyeol to arrive. It has only been 8 minutes since you last checked.

You stood up, still thinking of what to say to him. You cannot concentrate with the absence of any sound. Oh, the irony. It feels like you can hear your own heart beating.

When you heard the door open and close, you sighed heavily, still anxious of what might happen tonight.

"Hey babe." Chanyeol cheerfully hugged your back and kissed your shoulders. "I have so many things to tell you! Suho was so mad at Baekhyun awhile ago. But let me tell you the good news first!" When he felt that you didn't move, he cupped your cheeks and lowered his stance so you're face to face. "Y/N? Is there a problem? You're making me worry" He pouted when you still didn't answer.

You don't know if it was the wine that you drank or the food that you ate earlier, but your throat feels dry, and you feel like you'd vomit anytime.

"Please speak. I'm starting to get really scared right now." Chanyeol led you to the sofa, making you sit beside him.

Your legs are jittery so you held your thighs, trying to control the movement. "I'm going home." You finally had the courage to tell him.

"What are you saying? This is your home" Both of you know which home you're talking about. But when you looked at him, he pulled his eyebrows together and shifted his seat closer to you, expecting you to change your mind.

Even though you've been thinking about it for days, or even weeks, you still don't know how to arrange your thoughts into comprehensible statements.

"Are you not happy anymore?" You felt his anguish in the way he held your hands. It's painful for you to even look at him, and you wished you could do this without hurting him in any way.

"I am, Chanyeol. I am so happy and dreamy that I've realized that I've been with you for a year, throwing away the moments that I could have spent into making myself better." You looked intently to his eyes, hoping that he'll listen.

"Looking back at the year that has elapsed, I just can't stop feeling like time froze for me. Like I am the same person that I was one year before, when I could have been a good writer or a gutsy traveler by this time.

"Being with you has been one of the best moments in my life. You made me happy more than anyone else. But it just feels like I've stopped living." You felt heat rise up your cheeks, and tension forming in your temple.

"And I'm afraid that one day, life will pull me back down to reality, when it's too late to pursue my passion." You pulled his hands to your face, stroking it in your cheeks.

"I'm just 21. But it feels like I already settled, Chanyeol. We'd both be lying if we said that I'm the type of person who'd just accept that."

You hugged him in your chest, with him still frozen and looking distantly. "I'm so sorry for leaving you like this, but I hope someday, when we meet again, you'll understand."

Tears fell from your eyes as he said your name, pulling you closer and burying his face in your neck. He repeated saying your name. Slower, gentler, and more delicately.

You were like that for a few minutes until he loosened his grip in your body. You sniffed and breathed heavily as he kissed your cheek. He knelt on front of you and pleaded. "Please. Please don't do this to me."

For a moment, you were afraid that you'd collapse. From the feeling of not being able to breathe, the heartbreak, and the whirling sensation in your head, it feels like your body is betraying you.

He rested his head on your lap, and it strangely felt how slowly time passes while both if you stayed in that position.

After what seemed like forever, Chanyeol pulled out a small blue box from his pocket. "I'd still want you to have this. It was supposed to be a gift for our anniversary, but it could count as a parting gift right now." He opened it, and you saw a silver necklace with a diamond pendant.

Your heart felt heavier with the thought of it. Even in your last moment together, Chanyeol has shown how important you are to him.

"I probably wouldn't understand you, ever. But know that I trust and love you so much that's why I'm letting you go. You will always have a special place in my heart." With that, you kissed Chanyeol deeply, knowing that this will be your last.

"Ma, did I do the right thing? Choosing my dream before my happiness? All of us know that he did no such thing as smother me." You spat the same questions that you had for several years. Your mother must be used to it by now.

"If we crossed path, will he take me back again? They think that I'm so brave, working my way just to hide a broken heart."

She looked at you and stroked your hair.

"No matter how many times people tell you you're clever, your stupidity tells you to keep on believing that you'll eventually get back together. You always wonder how he's doing. Ask yourself, 'does he have a family now? Is he still the happy virus whose laugh is contagious?' After all these years, you think that you're still in love with him. But it's just the idea of him.

"It's 2023, exactly 5 years after that. He has changed, You have changed. You are now living at a penthouse that you just dreamed of before. You have studied another 2 language, you travelled from places, and just awhile ago, you've been promoted at the top firm in your city.

"Some people think that hanging on is the sign of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it."

You wore the necklace once more.

 _I'll be happy. I owe him that._


End file.
